Mascot Exchange
by Dyzog
Summary: When Haruhi Suzumiya kidnaps the North High football team's canine mascot, they kidnap the SOS Brigade's human mascot in retaliation. What will Haruhi do to get Mikuru back? Formerly a one-shot to which I added a second chapter — and there may be more!
1. Tit for Tat

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 **Mascot Exchange**

by Dizog

 **Chapter One: Tit for Tat**

"EEEEEEE!" Mikuru Asahina's piercing scream echoed off the walls.

Moments after she unlocked the door and entered the SOS Brigade clubroom, three North High football players, dressed in full gear except for their helmets, rushed into the room after her.

They stopped in their tracks. "We're sorry," a lanky guy wearing number 8 said, his palms up. "We didn't mean to startle you."

"Yeah, Miss Asahina," said a short but stocky number 43. "We're just messing around. It's all part of the whole mascot-stealing tradition."

"Will you play along with us?" asked a husky number 17. "We promise not to hurt you."

Mikuru dropped her arms. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to scream like that. But when three big guys come bearing down on you…" She took a deep breath. "Sure, I'll play along. I guess your team is upset because Miss Suzumiya stole your mascot. He's a really sweet dog, by the way. What's his name again?"

"We call him Rover," number 17 said.

"I love the way Rover runs along the sidelines at all the home games," Mikuru said. "The way you dress him up is so cute. He looks just like a doggy version of a player."

"Yeah," said number 8. "One of the player's moms is a really good seamstress. She custom-made that uniform for him. His collar too."

"That's part of the reason we were so pissed," number 43 said. "When Miss Suzumiya and her henchmen stole Rover from his cage while we were in the showers, it was bad. But when they left his uniform, collar, and leash dangling from the goalposts for everyone to see, she really rubbed it in our faces."

Number 17 nodded. "Your leader is kind of mean."

"Don't think that," Mikuru replied. "She's just having fun with you. But she's also the type of girl that likes to make a bold statement. How can I help you guys get even?"

"Well," said number 43. "Miss Suzumiya considers you the SOS Brigade mascot, so we wanted to kidnap you and take you to a secret hiding place."

"Then," number 8 added, "we were going to offer a trade. The SOS Brigade mascot in exchange for the North High football team mascot."

Mikuru rested her hand on her ample chest. "You're going to ask Miss Suzumiya to give up your dog Rover in exchange for me?"

"That was the plan. We're not going to take you against your will or anything. We were hoping you might play along for the fun of it."

"That's so funny." Mikuru giggled. "Sure, I'll totally play along. This will be so much fun. What did you have in mind?"

"To be honest, we're kind of winging it. We've never kidnapped a mascot before."

"You need to do it right," Mikuru said. "A bunch of guys kidnapped me once on my time plane when the girls in my hologram design club stole some bikes from the light cycle team. They had an awesome time with me."

"Your time plane?" number 8 asked. "What's a time plane?"

"Whoops." Mikuru bit her lip. "That's classified." She giggled. "I've been watching too much science fiction." She cleared her throat. "I meant at my last school in another city. Did you bring your kidnap stuff?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know. Maybe some rope to tie me up with and a big suitcase to carry me in."

The guys' mouths dropped open. "Huh?"

"Oh right, I forgot. You're winging it. Hold on." Mikuru ran to Haruhi's desk. "Miss Suzumiya keeps a set of handcuffs in her top drawer. And you can wrap me up in that thing to sneak me out." She pointed to a large rolled-up piece of canvas leaning against the wall in the corner. "It's the banner we use at events. It should be plenty big."

She set the cuffs on the table and unbuttoned her top.

"What are you doing?" asked number 43.

Mikuru pulled off her blouse, revealing a lacy pink bra. "Miss Suzumiya took off all of Rover's clothes and left them for the world to see at the football field, didn't she? So you've got to do the same to me, don't you?"

The guys glanced nervously at one another. Number 43 smiled. "I suppose we should."

Mikuru unzipped her skirt. "Let's do this quickly before everybody returns."

Three North High football players looked on in disbelief as the SOS Brigade's buxom mascot stripped completely naked.

Mikuru walked back to the commander's desk, her clothes a bundle in her arms. "Let's leave my bra and panties here so Miss Suzumiya can't miss them." She draped her undergarments over Haruhi's computer monitor, then turned toward the window. "It would make the most impact if we hang my blouse and skirt where everyone can see them from the quad." She got a couple of hangers, hung her skirt and blouse from them, and hooked them over the curtain rod. "There."

She stepped back a few paces and appraised her work. "Perfect." She knelt by the door and pushed her socks into her shoes. "Nobody really cares about a girl's footwear. I'll just leave these here."

She lifted the cuffs off the table and handed them to number 43. "I'm all yours." She turned and hooked her thumbs behind her back. Number 43 dutifully shackled the nude girl's wrists.

"Do you have a key for these?" he asked as the silver bracelets clicked shut.

"Don't worry about that. I'm sure Miss Suzumiya will find it after you give me back to the club."

"What if she won't trade you for Rover?"

Mikuru playfully wiggled her hips. "Then the football team is going to have their way with me until she does. How many of you are there?"

"Our roster has twenty-four players."

Mikuru's eyes widened. "Oh, boy."

"Do you still want to do this?" number 8 asked.

"More than ever."

The guys looked at each other and shrugged.

She nodded toward the corner. "Be sure to wrap me in that banner super tight so I can barely move." The guys retrieved the banner and were about to unroll it when she said, "Wait. You should gag me first to keep me from screaming."

"With what?"

Mikuru looked around the room. She walked to one of the bookshelves, bent forward, and grabbed a roll of duct tape with her teeth. She returned it to number 43 who took the roll from her mouth. "One more thing." She glanced at the tea station. "Stuff a couple of those cotton towelettes in my mouth before you put tape over my lips. That'll make the gag more effective."

Number 17 balled up two towelettes and held them up to Mikuru's face.

She opened her mouth.

He pulled the cloth back. "Should we set up some kind of code?" He scanned the bound redhead's unclothed body from head to toe. "You know, in case things get out of hand."

Mikuru shook her head. "Don't worry about that. I'm sure I'll be able to handle anything you guys throw at me." She opened wide again.

Number 17 stuffed the towelettes into her cheeks. Number 43 covered her lips with tape.

"Thanks for being such a good sport, Miss Asahina." Number 8 cupped her magnificent breasts and squeezed them. "We'll do our best to make this fun for you."

Mikuru nodded with a wink.

They spread the canvas banner on the floor and helped Mikuru lay face-down on top of it. After rolling her up like tobacco in cigarette paper, they whisked her out the door.


	2. Hostage Exchange

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 **Chapter Two: Hostage Exchange**

Haruhi Suzumiya burst through the Arts Building door, stepped onto the concrete walkway, and speed-walked through the quad. I followed close behind. A roll of tape and a pair of scissors bounced in my right and left jacket pockets, and my hand clutched an old-style flip-phone.

It felt odd being at the school at 11:45 PM. The full moon hanging in a clear, star-filled sky almost fooled me into believing it was daylight.

Haruhi jogged out to the athletic fields, stopped at the bleachers, and rubbed her arms. Covered only by the bedsheet wrapped around her frame, Haruhi shivered when a cool breeze flowed across her bare shoulders.

"Do you want to put my jacket on?" I asked.

"No. These guys have been really specific about how they want this exchange to go down. If we don't follow their directions to a tee, they might not give Mikuru back." She stiffened her spine. "Let's get on with it." She marched to the center of the football field.

I joined her on top of the North High School logo. Upon arriving, the cell phone buzzed and displayed another text.

 _Tie her up with the tape._

I shook the phone. "They're telling me I need to tie you up."

"That's not surprising." She crossed her arms behind her back and turned. "Tape my wrists together nice and snug, but not so tight you cut off my circulation."

The roll of quarter-inch, fiberglass-reinforced packing tape sparkled in my hand. It had been one of the items in the cardboard box I'd found in front of the SOS Clubroom door earlier today. In addition to the tape, the box contained a pair of bandage scissors, a neatly folded king-sized bedsheet, and a buttonless cell phone whose screen displayed the first instruction: _Wrap Haruhi Suzumiya in the bedsheet and walk her out to the center of the football field at midnight._

I wound a loop of tape horizontally around the center of the 'X' created by her crossed wrists. "Isn't this overkill? I mean, I could tie up a gorilla with this and he couldn't break out of it."

"It's what they specified. Don't over-think things, Kyon. Just do it."

I wrapped a loop of tape vertically around the 'X.' Rinse. Repeat. Up and down, then side to side. After five loops, I snipped the tape with the bandage scissors.

"Tuck the ends in underneath," Haruhi said, "so there's no way to undo it without cutting."

"Why?"

"Because if you're going to tie up a girl, you need to do it right. I don't want these football guys to think we half-assed it."

I did as Haruhi asked. "How's that?"

She twisted her wrists and tried to pull her arms apart with no success. "Perfect. Now tape my ankles. A nice loose loop to start, then cinch it in the middle."

I knelt and did as my brigade leader directed. "How's that?" I asked a minute later.

"Good job. I am now officially helpless and ready to be kidnapped."

The phone buzzed. _Verify that Miss Suzumiya is not carrying a tracking device._

"How the hell do I do that?"

"What's up?" Haruhi asked.

"They want me to verify that you don't have a tracking device on you."

"Dummy. That's code for pulling this bed sheet off my body."

"Then why don't they come right out and say that?"

"They don't want us to think they're perverts that get off on looking at a beautiful tied-up naked girl. Go on. Do it."

I pulled the white sheet off of Haruhi's body leaving her naked but for her hair ribbon. I glanced down. "You shaved for this?"

"I shave every day, bonehead. Not that you would know."

The phone buzzed. _Make her spin in a circle._

I stepped back and made a swirling motion. "They want you to hop around so they can see your entire body."

Haruhi's full breasts bounced pleasantly as she complied with their demand. When she finished, I scanned the perimeter. My eyes registered a flash of moonlight reflecting off binoculars held by someone hidden behind the fence.

The phone buzzed. _Have her kneel in the middle of the sheet._

A second later, it buzzed again. _By the way, Kyon, that chick_ _'s got a sweet behind and her rack is absolutely gorgeous. Are you sure you don't want a piece of that before we pick her up?_

I stared at the phone for a while.

"What's up?" Haruhi asked.

"They're satisfied with what you've shown them, but…" I shook my head. "No way. I'm not doing that. They've gone too far already."

"What do they want me to do, Kyon?"

"They want you to kneel in the middle of the bedsheet and take my penis into your mouth. They're perverts I tell you — like you said — and now they've gone too far."

"It's fine. Take it out. I'll suck you off."

"Are you serious?"

"It's their way of thanking you for flawlessly fulfilling your middleman role in this hostage exchange. You deserve it."

"Well, all right. Since it _is_ what they're requiring." I spread the bedsheet on the ground, Haruhi hopped to the center of the white square, and I helped her to her knees.

I pulled out my dick and placed it on her tongue. Bound, naked, and now temporarily gagged, Haruhi lovingly sucked me toward orgasm. When I came like a fire hose into her mouth, Haruhi effortlessly swallowed down everything I gave her.

After releasing my dick, she licked her lips, sat down on her ankles, and met my eyes with a sweet smile. "Thanks."

"No problem."

The phone buzzed. _Push her down, wrap her up, and make yourself scarce._

Haruhi didn't resist when I guided her forward till her breasts compressed against her knees. I joined the bedsheet's corners above her bound arms, then intertwined and tied the sheet's twisted ends till the fabric encased her body like a second skin. Several loops of tape reinforced my knots.

I walked away from the center of the field and turned when I reached the bleachers. A tidy white package containing a beautiful naked girl glowed eerily in the moonlight.

I considered finding a hiding place from which I could keep an eye on the girl, but the football team probably had eyes everywhere. Also, to be honest, I kind of missed Mikuru.

I ran up to the club room, took my seat, and stared at the cell phone resting on the table in front of me. For an anxious hour, I waited for it to buzz, but the phone remained dormant.

Concerned, I got up to investigate. When I rushed out to the football field, the glowing package hadn't moved. I jogged up to Haruhi and rested my hand on her back. "Are you doing okay in there?"

"Yes," a familiar voice replied, "I am."

I yanked the bandage scissors out of my pocket, cut the packing tape, and loosened the bedsheet. Unwrapping the package revealed Mikuru Asahina in the same state I'd left Haruhi — breasts on knees, bum on ankles, totally nude and bound.

Her body reeked of sex.

After I helped her up into a sitting position, she turned to me and smiled. "Did you know the North High football team has twenty-four players?"

"Did each one of them have their way with you?"

She nodded. "Multiple times." She sighed. "I could really use a shower."

I snipped off her bindings, helped her to her feet, and wrapped the bed sheet around her body. Then I put my arm around her shoulders and helped the wobbly-kneed redhead walk to the girls' locker room.

"What do you think they're going to do to Haruhi?" I asked.

Mikuru giggled. "Anything she wants, plus a couple of surprises. The North High football team is very, very accomodating."


End file.
